the Window

I remember when I use to sit in the window of my grandparents’ room. On a rainy day, the sideways of the broken road to our home use to become a muddy pool. The smell of soil made me feel alive, and I would look at the all so sprawling nature in much astonishment. Of course, in the evening the insects related to rain use to create havoc, we can’t keep doors open and the humidity just sets in and in those times, power cut was as natural as breathing.

That window was my telescope to all the thoughts which I keep to myself, my stories, and my fantasies. There were no boundaries, not even logic. It was like, as they say, “the dumb didn’t know that it can’t be done, hence he did it”.

Although the window and the place to sit near it was not big, but it remains the same. The more the years passed, the more the logic and smaller the world outside of the Window. That room is still there, the window is also there, the people are gone. The vision to that unknown land of my fantasy is gone, gone are the feelings to the rain and… I think, gone is my childhood.

This was not the only window any of us look through (although we all miss that one)… the Window to our world, someone else’s world, the Window to that special one heart, the Window to desired future life… all of them gets narrowed down and the one which is left does not even strike as a window.

Earlier, the Window was to look out and to look in. Now we all look out only, to the life we didn’t chose, the dreams that we let go off, the other ME who hate me for letting him down over the years. We hide ourselves in an artificial comfort zone which we ourselves judge as life.

‘the Race’ has tired us down, ‘the Cost’ of ‘the Hope’ has put us in debt in all sorts of way. Only ‘the Hold’ of that ONE still kicks us to give a flickering jerk to us. ‘the Window’ will always be there, it will never shrink. All that matters is us, to take a chance, to……

the HOLD

"the RACE" began, we all were or rather are still part of it. Whether one stopped to ponder over or continued, the next phase is inevitable. It's the investment we made that now requires nurture. A question or agreement to "the RACE" looks a needle point now or rather a MOO-point.

The instinct of survival is in gear, and for those who don't agree - thank your stars. Our hands are clutched tightly, holding it and trying to find more ropes av much as we can. New faces join the little love cloud of ours, new lives cooing and looking at us, making us hold that rope of the RACE.

We spend more time away from those for whom we want to be together always. "the HOLD" is a funny feeling. We think we are holding the rope of the next move, next phase, next decision, so on and so forth.... but interestingly enough "the HOLD" is other way round. We are mere doorkeeper, we think the things we are guarding is because we are the master of it, but really think... I mean the moments, time lost for something big to come.... come on guys, lets wake up.

The time that is spent away from your new born kid so that you can buy that car seat or first insurance premium.... is it important than to hold those tiny little fingers, or the look of astonishment on both of your faces.

Is it more important to spend those late nights in office preparing MIS than to have a quiet and lovely dinner with your love ones.

I believe this next phase of "the RACE" is costing more (as expected). We think (since we are the ones who complain to the next fellow man), hence we are a little confused... Let's see the mentioned state of confusion --- Study means mugging up, life means working, spending means materialistic stuff.

the COST in this phase is the only rare commodity that you and I have on this planet and i.e. time. We are spending more time with strangers than family, more time in preparing PPT than preparing that science model for our kids, more time on train to commute than on the road trip with friends, more time at doctors than in fresh valley, more time in eating junk food than preparing your on silly invention.

the HOLD we have is something that we can't let go off, at least I think I cannot... But I'm going to try to look around too, loose the HOLD a little.... a little by little..

You Game?

'the COST'

Another day at the office and after a fire-fighting start of the day, we had a couple of minutes in the soothing heat wave that is claiming the most talked about thing in the city. The office boy came and asks for the petty cash account status and my friend jokingly mentioned, "Not to worry, he will pay on his own for the office expenses." And I was like.... what? Are you serious coz I don't like jokes. He said, "अबे समुद्र को क्या फ़र्क पड़ता है अगर एक लोटा पानी निकाल लो तो” And I thought to myself that is some 'thing' we all have said to somebody one time or another, without realizing that it matters, it matters to the sea.

I guess, rather I believe that every such idiom, metaphor or whatever you kids call it these days, came from an experience and stuck as an expression. Ever wonder to ask the sea itself if it matters, बस लगे अक्ल का घोडा दौड़ाने, बिना जाने की सामने वाले का सच का भी एक आयाम है. 

It matters from anybody to give something of his / her / its own. the COST of one bottle of water out of the sea, paying of one's own pocket, sending away own kid to boarding house or giving away a daughter.... this all matters. Sometimes we don't say coz we know that we'll be there at that place sometime in future and sometime we act like complete jerk, without empathizing the scene.

In the life of 'the RACE' the time is the new currency which we just don't have. Actually it's our inability to share the same amount of time that each one of us have in a day. That's why we chose to be on the Social media and awkward in Society. That's why we eat food in front of idiot box than talking with the tiny part of family that we have. That's why we dodge a call from an old acquaintance because why change the pattern of the day.

'the COST' is something we all are paying. The amount may be different but the rate is the same. The moment we chose 'the RACE' over life, the tag of 'the COST' came along.

So go back home, hold the one you love close to you and whisper in their ears that you love them no matter what. Take chances in picking up the phone when it rang, who knows what awaits us. We may not get time to go on adventures every day, but the pattern of the day can be allowed to change.

Life is short and if you are already in 'the RACE', 'the COST' with EMI has already begun and it is only going to get bigger till we become the sea at the end of our lives and understand that it does matter to the sea for that one bottle of water out of it.

Just... I mean... just.... seize it... everything.. just.....

'the PURE'

When the whole world is in 'the RACE' (yes the whole world, thats why Muslim leaders have to comment negatively on Women's Bill or the 'akhadas' of Hindu religious gurus have to show off during the famous or infamous Kumbh Snanas), the question arises, "Where is peace left?" Everyone is running and there so many multi-fold races going on that while doing nothing, we are still a part of some race.

And why not, the dreams which got attached to us since the time we were in the womb! But why am I worried. Even with all the bad phases, wrong decisions, natural calamity or the EVIL, world is still a beautiful place with full of optimism and an eye to prevent the bad. But whom am I kidding... I also look at the negative part first.

Then there are things which remove this dirt inside us for a moment, for eg - the smile of a baby which leaps over all the boundaries made by men in any form. That chuckle of some kid which let us smile, may be only for a second or two is possibly the purest we can be - a moment near to almighty.... (My wife don't agree to that)

Hence the question arises, are we good, as in clean... or were we ever had that time of pureness in our live, after we started talking? Seems a common situation to every soul on the planet. A question which hit us at least once in our lifetime...

The greatest work of art by the almighty where solution lies in the question and yet human can't figure it out as the ego (another master stroke of genius Lord) won't let the mind go hunting in the right direction.

A question un-answered... a mystery unresolved... 

'the ATTENTION'

This is perhaps something we all hate when others asks from us and at the same time, something we want it from all, or someone.... We can run, hide but this expression will take a toll out of our lives and the one's we are surrounded by. 

Especially, in every relation (which doesn't exclusively mean girlfriend - boyfriend) attention is something that is 'wanted' by all. From a kid  to old age Grand pa! A learning which comes naturally to us, first as a need to call our loved ones and later as an urge within, to the society... a sense for the need of recognition.

But every coin comes with two faces, if it's nice to seek attention, at the same time it's bad too. Most of the time, it is this 'attention' which made us to make the choices that decides the path of our lives, rather then what we actually want to do.

We do it for so long that the whole sense of doing what we can or are good at is lost somewhere. These are those people who don't want this gets it. The one guy who never thought about being compared with Sir Don Bradman, was the one who actually got compared to him by Sir Bradman himself. And the one thing he always aspired to (a world cup) is what he has been unable to achieve till now. This is no theory but certainly this suggest that those who dream, spent their life dreaming as famous (or infamous) "Shaikhchilli"... and why, because we think about all the attention and gifts that we'll get once we reach there.... and hence skip the detailing to reach there.

Somebody once said that it makes you eternally happy when make others happy.... but do not misread, making others happy not because they are in your presence, but the real happiness. A hungry man is not feeling happy because he is in blessed company of Lord Buddha but he is happy because Lord Buddha gave him something to eat.

But is it a problem to ask for attention? When we were of an age when we can't speak, even then we want that warmth of our parents almost 24X7, so we learn to cry, which is a kind of conditioning we gather of, well, our first experience which tells us that we can achieve that if we cry. Hence, when we are conditioned in that way, the outcome is very obvious. 

Seeking attention turns to be irritating when we don't deserve and ask for it, or even though we may deserve it, we ASK for it. It's that whole concept of RIGHT or WRONG that creates a 'chemical lochha'... if I may put it that way.

May be 'the ATTENTION' is something that comes to us by others and the moment we crave for it, it just bounce back to our own face. It's like our name, which is ours yet used by others. So, its cute when new born kids do that, not so cute when we grow up, even if one may want to argue that the one who won will act like winner, not the one who come second...

So what you think?

'the FICTION - LOVE - its never conditional'

Duleep Singh was finally coming home after Kargil war. He called his parents from Kashmir - "माँ बाबा, मैं घर आ रहा हूँ. एक चीज़ पूछनी थी – मेरा एक दोस्त भी है साथ में जिसे मैं अपने साथ घर लाना चाहता हूँ.” "हाँ हाँ बेटा, क्यों नहीं" they replied, "तुम्हारे दोस्त से मिल कर हमें भी ख़ुशी होगी."

"उस के बारे में  एक ख़ास बात बतानी थी,” the son continued, "लड़ाई में उसका काफी नुक्सान हुआ है. Land mines की वजह से वो अपना एक हाथ और एक टांग खो चुका है. अब वो कहीं नहीं जा सकता और मैं सोच रहा था की अगर वो  हमारे साथ रह ले."

"सुन कर बड़ा दुःख हुआ बेटे. हम उसके रहने की  अच्छी सी व्यवस्था कर देंगे."

"नहीं माँ, मैं चाहता हूँ वो  हमारे साथ रहे."

"सुनो बेटा," said Duleep’s dad, "तुम नहीं जानते तुम क्या मांग रहे हो. इस तरह का विकलांग व्यक्ति हम पर बेकार का बोझ ही रहेगा. हमारी खुद की भी तो ज़िन्दगी है, इस तरह किसी की दखलंदाज़ी नहीं सह पाएंगे. मेरे हिसाब से तो तुम तुम्हारे इस दोस्त के बारे में भूल ही जाओ तो अच्छा रहेगा. तुम घर आ जाओ, वो खुद के लिए कुछ न कुछ खोज ही लेगा." 

At that point, Duleep hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the Kashmir police. Their son had died after falling from a building - which, police believed was suicide. The grief-stricken parents reached Kashmir and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know.

Duleep had only one arm and one leg.

Shocking!! Not exactly, as the character of the parents in this story are like many of us (be truthful to yourself). We find it easy to Love those who are good-looking or fun to be around, but we don't like people who are an inconvenience to us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are (or so do we think).

Very few of us are considerate about the feelings of others. 'the RACE' has turn us all into ill-sensitive people who are more of conditional feelings and fake laughs, even to those whom we call our near and dear ones or use to call 'em.

Thankfully, in our lives, we meet someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love, that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are. And then we make a bigger mistake, take them for granted - watch out, if this treasure is lost then with all the money, time, fame and luck - we will be the most unlucky person. 

We have to have more understanding of those who are different from us!!!

‘the FICTION - introduction’

As a kid, I always liked to read stories. Stories that were published in all kid’s magazines, then I saw comics which have this picture perfect quality. We all did, and I like it today also. I believe that kid’s stories are the easiest form to communicate (as the best teacher is the one in the primary school who can teach a person who can only make sounds the starting alphabets). I grew up with all this literature around me and then I saw something which astonished me. This fiction was teaching me how to react or understand the factual world around me.

A common man (like me) grew up in a world of NO and CAN’T. He only knows the restrictions which he is unable to do, so much so that he gets restrictions on his dreams too. But fiction has no dreams, and thats why a common man look forward to it... "There is some unknown power which is going to help me" and for that we look for something to assist us. One of our friend is moving ahead of us with power pace, instead of looking the reasons why he / she is achieving this success, we question our fate and raise our hopes for some illusion to happen.

Human is a social animal and works as per the society rules and regulations yet he / she lives in his / her own small world of opportunities and optimism where everything is possible. A place where there are beautiful gardens, running river water and Stories - where his fiction gives him his so much wanted support which he can't imagine in the real world.

Why do one fantasize? The answer is simple - we all want to achieve everything. Want to roam around the whole world, earn million and millions everyday, want to work our dream job and settle down with the most beautiful life partner, and many more. And the belief is that there are people who have achieved this; if they can, then why can't I?

May its not wrong either. The solution for the so called problems may not come out, but it gives an immense opportunity to learn and face the adverse situations which are a regular part of our lives. So, if Sachin Tendulkar turn out to be master blaster, never think that you can't - because that fiction-world of yours will never let you down.

Whether women bill will help in women empowerment or not, or Mumbai will turn to Shanghai by 2020, but one thing is for sure - the dreams are shaping up. Fiction is taking a shape of reality, so keep dreaming and aspire...

In quick successions, I am going to post some stories - like 'em or hate 'em, but do read 'em... cause our lives are small to learn everything from our own experiences...

I'll be back....